Friday, September 25, 2009
In Search Of Excellence… Inspiring Or Intimidating?
In a recent class, we were discussing Best Practices; the ideal standards, the levels to which we aspire and sometimes experience when we’re doing (and being?) our best.
Some students stayed behind after the lecture. I expected they’d be energized – if not outright enthralled – with the possibilities. But as my wise friend and writing partner Beth Page says, “Expectations are planned disappointments.”
I really wish I remembered her counsel as I awaited the students’ comments, which essentially were:
“Those practices… that’s not reality, it’s the rare exception. Why even bother telling us about them, when we’ll never get to experience it ourselves? It’s depressing.”
I was so astounded, the best response I could offer was some mealy-mouthed, “thanks for your input” kind of acknowledgment. But it stuck with me, and it’s taken me some time to work it out.
It’s easy for me to explore this from a distanced, philosophical point of view. But when I recall a recent time when I personally encountered Best Practices, I start to appreciate the students’ perspective.
For me, few things are tougher than entering a dance class where everyone is a lot better than I am. I’ll happily be doing my thing, and suddenly realize that people around me are moving in bigger, bolder, and more beautiful ways than I ever imagined.
In fact, some of them are doing things so quantum-ly different from me that I’m momentarily stunned, then panicked: “Uh oh. How did I get here?” Facing this much excellence is more than humbling.
I have two options, which might be labeled “Fight or Flight,” but that’s not 100% accurate. Flight? Always a possibility. If I allow myself to be overcome with embarrassment, I’ve been known to make a quick, yet still mortifying, escape. But Fight? It doesn’t have to be the only other alternative (nor is it often ideal in a dance studio).
So Flight or… Float?
What if I can release my instinct to run, and instead open my eyes and my mind to all that’s around me?
The anxiety evaporates. I see the grace, strength, flexibility, elevation, commitment…. and I am in awe. And rather than finding myself deficient in comparison, I become inspired to go further myself.
Granted, it’s not often easy for me to ‘float.’ It requires that I willingly risk facing intimidation in exchange for the possibility of inspiration.
But to me, that’s the ultimate point of exploring Best Practices. To see what’s possible, to replace fear with wonder, and to apply that inspiration as fuel for our own continuing growth.
What do you think?
Some students stayed behind after the lecture. I expected they’d be energized – if not outright enthralled – with the possibilities. But as my wise friend and writing partner Beth Page says, “Expectations are planned disappointments.”
I really wish I remembered her counsel as I awaited the students’ comments, which essentially were:
“Those practices… that’s not reality, it’s the rare exception. Why even bother telling us about them, when we’ll never get to experience it ourselves? It’s depressing.”
I was so astounded, the best response I could offer was some mealy-mouthed, “thanks for your input” kind of acknowledgment. But it stuck with me, and it’s taken me some time to work it out.
It’s easy for me to explore this from a distanced, philosophical point of view. But when I recall a recent time when I personally encountered Best Practices, I start to appreciate the students’ perspective.
For me, few things are tougher than entering a dance class where everyone is a lot better than I am. I’ll happily be doing my thing, and suddenly realize that people around me are moving in bigger, bolder, and more beautiful ways than I ever imagined.
In fact, some of them are doing things so quantum-ly different from me that I’m momentarily stunned, then panicked: “Uh oh. How did I get here?” Facing this much excellence is more than humbling.
I have two options, which might be labeled “Fight or Flight,” but that’s not 100% accurate. Flight? Always a possibility. If I allow myself to be overcome with embarrassment, I’ve been known to make a quick, yet still mortifying, escape. But Fight? It doesn’t have to be the only other alternative (nor is it often ideal in a dance studio).
So Flight or… Float?
What if I can release my instinct to run, and instead open my eyes and my mind to all that’s around me?
The anxiety evaporates. I see the grace, strength, flexibility, elevation, commitment…. and I am in awe. And rather than finding myself deficient in comparison, I become inspired to go further myself.
Granted, it’s not often easy for me to ‘float.’ It requires that I willingly risk facing intimidation in exchange for the possibility of inspiration.
But to me, that’s the ultimate point of exploring Best Practices. To see what’s possible, to replace fear with wonder, and to apply that inspiration as fuel for our own continuing growth.
What do you think?
Monday, January 5, 2009
Setting Intentions Over Making Resolutions
Happy 2009!
It’s the new year, a great time for making plans, setting goals, envisioning our dreams. As I consider what’s ahead, I’ve decided to advocate for setting intentions, rather than making resolutions, for 2009.
Resolutions can be a wonderful kick-start to get us going in new (and presumably better) directions. They’re aspirational, but they also seem to be burdened by obligations, the almighty “shoulds.”
To be resolute is to be committed, but there seems to be an inherent seriousness – almost a grim-ness – associated with making them. New Year’s resolutions often relate to changing habits, and focus on our deficiencies. Really, how often does someone resolve “to continue being as joyous and wonderful as I already am?”
The underlying message of New Year’s resolutions seems to be, “I need to do more (or less) of this, I need to be more of this,” which indicates a deeper sense that “I am not enough as I am, so I must resolve to…”
I also believe that the process of setting resolutions also tends to establish a win-lose outlook. I will resolve to do X, and I will either succeed or fail.
In contrast, I believe that setting intentions is a more self-generous approach.
To be intentional is to be purposeful. Setting an intention can help us clarify our focus. It encourages thoughtfulness, and heightens our awareness of our choices. Intentions help us chart a course, but they also allow for contingencies, welcome possibility, and encourage flexibility. With intentions, we can make progress directionally, even if the specifics happen to change along the way.
The difference between these concepts reminds me of an idea my friend Beth Page created, about the “WHATNESS” and the “HOWNESS” of things.
Resolutions fall in the WHATNESS category – they ask us to focus on what we must do, change, improve, etc.
Intentions are more about the HOWNESS – the approach we choose to take.
Don’t get me wrong – I'm all for personal change and growth. But I wish for the process to be more joyful, not obligatory.
So this year, I intend to set intentions rather than resolutions.
What do you think? Is there enough accountability in intentions, or does it take resolutions for things to “stick?” Have you made resolutions or set intentions for the year ahead? Is this all just semantics, or do you think there are real differences?
Here’s to a fabulous 2009 for all.
It’s the new year, a great time for making plans, setting goals, envisioning our dreams. As I consider what’s ahead, I’ve decided to advocate for setting intentions, rather than making resolutions, for 2009.
Resolutions can be a wonderful kick-start to get us going in new (and presumably better) directions. They’re aspirational, but they also seem to be burdened by obligations, the almighty “shoulds.”
To be resolute is to be committed, but there seems to be an inherent seriousness – almost a grim-ness – associated with making them. New Year’s resolutions often relate to changing habits, and focus on our deficiencies. Really, how often does someone resolve “to continue being as joyous and wonderful as I already am?”
The underlying message of New Year’s resolutions seems to be, “I need to do more (or less) of this, I need to be more of this,” which indicates a deeper sense that “I am not enough as I am, so I must resolve to…”
I also believe that the process of setting resolutions also tends to establish a win-lose outlook. I will resolve to do X, and I will either succeed or fail.
In contrast, I believe that setting intentions is a more self-generous approach.
To be intentional is to be purposeful. Setting an intention can help us clarify our focus. It encourages thoughtfulness, and heightens our awareness of our choices. Intentions help us chart a course, but they also allow for contingencies, welcome possibility, and encourage flexibility. With intentions, we can make progress directionally, even if the specifics happen to change along the way.
The difference between these concepts reminds me of an idea my friend Beth Page created, about the “WHATNESS” and the “HOWNESS” of things.
Resolutions fall in the WHATNESS category – they ask us to focus on what we must do, change, improve, etc.
Intentions are more about the HOWNESS – the approach we choose to take.
Don’t get me wrong – I'm all for personal change and growth. But I wish for the process to be more joyful, not obligatory.
So this year, I intend to set intentions rather than resolutions.
What do you think? Is there enough accountability in intentions, or does it take resolutions for things to “stick?” Have you made resolutions or set intentions for the year ahead? Is this all just semantics, or do you think there are real differences?
Here’s to a fabulous 2009 for all.
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